How To Ignite Your Intimate Relationship
Are you driven?
Are you truly driven?
Do you have a part in you that wishes to create more possibilities, more deals, more expansion of your work, more expansion of your products, your empire, your energy?
The feeling of drive is strong in many of us who are entrepreneurs. We share a desire to create, to be masters of our own reality, to wake up when we want to, to go where we want to go, to explore the world – or if we wish to, to stay in our home all day long.
Freedom is one of our primary values as an entrepreneur. There is an aspect of us that yearns for it, which is what gives us the drive to do what we do in business. Ultimately, I believe that Freedom is sourced and rooted within our “witness consciousness.” This is an Eastern term to describe the aspect of our being which is aware of all existence right now. You being aware of me, me being aware of you – that awareness itself is considered to be consciousness itself in some esoteric teachings.
So, take a moment and feel yourself becoming aware of yourself, becoming aware of this moment. The One who is aware is the witness consciousness. We all have it, and Are it – unless we’re sleeping, out cold, or under anaesthesia, when witness consciousness fades away into oblivion.
When we’re in a waking state, a dreaming state, we can become very aware of this freedom within ourselves. When we forget that we are freedom itself, we begin to seek freedom in our external reality, in this earth plane, in this body, through our drives, our motivations, our predilections, our goals, our intentions, our missions, our visions. We forget that these energies are aspects of our inherent Freedom, which is already manifesting in this reality, that is coming forth within us simply to experience itself more on this dimensional level. It’s an esoteric twist.
In other words, we’re creating entrepreneurial freedom to remember ourselves, the freedom that we really are. In essence, when we attain full freedom, it is achieved beyond just the freedom of attainments – of our wants, needs, desires and life achievements. We may attain absolute spiritual freedom, if you will, freedom in consciousness. Every great sage around the world has said in some way or another, “We have already been this absolute ultimate freedom.” It is the great Zen paradox, the great laughter of the Zen monks that arises when we realize what we’ve been searching for is always here.
Now, when freedom arises within us and we feel this drive for even greater expansion, it can run our lives with great strength. This is something to be honoured; it’s something to be valued. You must say to yourself, “This is good. This is wholesome.” And then you must make sure that you connect it to your heart. Without a heart connection, drive becomes self-destruction. Aligned with the heart, the part of you that has higher meaning, higher value, higher virtues, that driven energy will not also bear freedom, it will also bring love.
The desires for Freedom and Love both exist within us. In every individual, there is a natural propensity to desire one more than the other – even slightly, on a subtle or unconscious level. What’s interesting is that if you are wired to have Freedom as your primary value, you’ll tend to attract a partner who is wired to have Love as their first primary value. They’ll desire to connect with you, to be with you, wanting you to share and to open up. They’ll want you to listen to them, to be present for what’s happening inside themselves.
Being driven by Freedom, you may take a listen to what they have to say, and find yourself with thoughts like, “That sounds frivolous, that sounds empty, that doesn’t seem as empowering and valuable and important as my mission and vision.”
I invite you, however, to consider that it’s very valuable to honour, and not to reduce, your lover’s desire for connection. Much loss of passion, excitement, and direction in relationships can be directly related to improper care of the dynamic between Love and Freedom in your intimate relationship.
You see, you’ll always attract your reciprocal. Sometimes, yes, you will judge, blame, and otherwise push away your counterpart in moments of feeling the differences or the polarities between you. This wisdom I am inviting you to embrace says that we must honour that some of us are more driven by connection and love, and some of us are more driven by freedom and its attainment.
For me, it’s freedom first, love and connection second. I love both, but I do have an order of value, as we all do. My beloved wife of 30+ years, Suzanne, values love connection first and freedom second. Being aware of this polarity in our relationship, I am able to come home at the end of the day and say to her, “Hey, how was your day, love?” Go ahead, I say. Let yourself unwind. I might have dealt with a hundred missions, I might have put out a hundred fires that day, I might have made some great wins, but I put all that aside.
Now I’ll receive, I’ll listen, I’ll let her share and express. What comes out may not make sense in the linear dimensions. It might come across as a cloud of effervescent energy, or a moody “crunchiness.” What’s happening in this amorphous exchange is that I am receiving my Beloved as an energy that is emanating from her heart. I let that touch my heart. In doing so, I have totally transformed and empowered our relationship. And I’m going to encourage you to do that, too.
You are, within yourself, driven by the movement towards greater freedom.
You are, within yourself, driven by the desire for connection and love.
Know that those around you may have different priorities. Let them relax. Let your ego relax, and – especially when you are with your beloved – let your priorities go. Let them be moved by their desire for love, and nurture that within them, and watch what happens.
This battery of connection, of polarity, will start to charge up. Your partner’s love battery will be filled, and simultaneously your desire for freedom will become fortified by their joy of being listened to. This electrical spark will grow stronger and stronger between you, taking you into realms of intimacy, ecstasy, and liberation that is truly legendary.
I invite you to try this today.