The Paradox of Letting Go
This is a timeless one: how do you let go? How do you let go? How do you let go? Has ever anyone told you how to let go? Just let that go. I know when people have told me to just let go, it’s been annoying at times. It’s easy for you to say, “Piss off.” “F*** off! Don’t tell me to just let go – it’s not as easy.” Look at my circumstance. I’m going to give you a paradoxical practice. And that is, instead of letting go, what is something right now you think you shouldn’t let go of? What is it? Is there something that’s bothering you? Someone’s got their emotional teeth in you somehow? Someone’s pissing you off, disturbing you, annoying you, something annoying you? What do you know you should let go off?
Alright, you got it? Now instead of letting go, do the opposite. I want you to hold onto it like a bulldog. Bite into it! Feel it fully, like totally fully! Do the opposite of letting go – absolutely dig into it! Like you want it even more. Your righteousness – stick into it. Magnify any images you have around the opposite of letting go. We’re just holding on. Hold on strongly. Don’t do it halfway, don’t try to drum up some spiritual nonsense, or some psychological distance, or some mindfulness, or some reframing actually – allow yourself to go there absolutely, and don’t let go. Hold on. Hold on like a son of a bitch. Magnify it, make it strong. Any images you have around it – growl around it. Any thoughts you have – make them obsessive. Feeling fully. Whatever emotions you have, don’t hold on, go into them. You want it? Have it! Feel frustrated if you don’t have it. Whatever body sensations are there, dramatize it. They get strong. You see, when you dive into it fully – watch what happens. It starts to dissipate. Is it happening when you feel it fully? For most of us, it’ll start to dissipate. If not, you’re not feeling it fully, you’re repressing, suppressing it. So, feel it fully, and watch it start to dissolve. You’ll start to get that there’s more space inside of yourself. And instead of trying to let go, let go happens.
What else? Is there something else that you really want? You want really bad as your goal, that you have, that’s burning vision, mission right now. I’m going to give you the paradoxical practice again, but this time, this is totally outside of the blue. Be ready for it, try it on. Whatever goal you have, desire it fully, but watch it fail at the end, watch it fail somehow. It will totally come apart, blow apart, fail. Whether it’s in relationship, whether it’s with money, your health, your business, your visions – whatever. Pick something, take it to its Nth degree, and let it fully fail in your consciousness. See the images that come up with it absolutely failing, 99%, no chance for it to recuperate, no chance for it to come back again or spring back again. Let go of all hope and fail fully. Come try it on. See the images that are there, the thoughts that are there, a failure. The emotions that are there with the failure, dive into it. Usually, we protect ourselves, we refrain from feeling these things. This time, enter it, and any body sensations that are there – regarding the failure of it. Let yourself feel it fully. Because if you’re doing it, just watch, it’ll start to dissolve. It’ll dissipate because you’re fulfilling it, you’re living it. You’re digesting those feelings, those images, those thoughts, those body sensations. You’re allowing them to have their voice, and then, you don’t have to let go of them – letting go happens.
Now, how do you feel about your goal now? Probably not as intense, you are probably more relaxed with it. So, next time you feel yourself, asking yourself, or looking at yourself, and wondering, or intuiting, “I should let go.” “This doesn’t require me to hold on.” Do the paradoxical practice for two minutes, three minutes – exaggerate the heck out of really holding on to it, so all that stuff within has its heyday, gets felt, expressed, fully acknowledged by yourself, and then, let go happen, letting go happen.SHOW LESS